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Really Stupid Jokes
-what kind of cat likes water?
~an octo-pussie
-what is a porkupines favorite food?
~prickled onions
-what do you get when you pour boiling water down a rabbit hole?
~hot cross bunnies
-what do you give a sick pig?
~oinkment
-why did the chicken cross the playground?
~to get to the other slide
Long Jokes
-If a def person sees you singing YMCA, he's probably thinking: "Why would anyone make a song about Touchdown, McDonalds,
Half Moon, Christmas Tree?"
-Im on a plane coming home, and when we land, we feel a thump. Then the captain comes on the intercom saying, "uhh, we
just...hit a deer." So they evacuated us onto a car to drive us to the airport. So when I get there, I call my wife, and tell
her the story. There was a pause and, "Were you in the air?"
(true story)
- I just got on an elevator from the ground floor, and a guy comes up behind me and asks, "Is this the elevator up?"
I said, "No, it goes side to side."
...He walked away.
(true story)
-I have a friend in Scottland, and he has really heavy Scottish accent. And in Scottland, knats are called
Mitts. Since he has such an accent, when he says "Mitts" I think he says "Migits". Well, we were at his house
outside and he suddenly said, "Its 6:00 o'clock, we should get inside before the migits come out."
Confused, I said, "Why what do the migits do?"
He replied, "Well, the little bastards bite you. Soon, they'll be everywhere, I even had twelve in bed with me once"...
(true story)
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